Getting the fear

As we approach the end of the academic year and thoughts turn not only to the much-anticipated summer break, but also the fresh beginnings and changes that the new term will bring, I see a little hint of something in the eyes of so many of the young people I work with: fear. Because new things, as well as being exciting, can also be pretty terrifying. Weirdly, it wasn’t a student interview but rather a day out with my toddler that reminded me of this.

Recently, I visited Speke Hall with my two-year old. He’s been talking about it for the past few weeks but along with excitedly talking about the play area and the planes (it’s next to the airport), he also mentions the dreaded “toes”. These toes belong to a sleeping giant who emits a snarling, throaty snore every time a small child wanders past his den and risks waking the hungry beast. At least, that’s how it looks through toddler eyes. To adults, it’s simply a shed with some wooden blocks that have been skilfully carved to look like The Childe of Hale’s feet sticking out of a window and a motion sensor that triggers a speaker.
So, what does this have to do with applying to university? Well, these feet terrify my little boy. Today I realised that the dreaded toes were scaring him so much that he didn’t even want to go to the play area next to them. But who could blame him? After all, not many of us would be volunteering to be lunch for a monster. But the look in his eyes was very familiar after a week of interviews with Year 12 students, many of whom have suddenly realised that the dreaded UCAS application, that once seemed such a distant threat, is actually pretty imminent.

Much like the fear of waking that sleeping giant, higher education applications can strike terror into the hearts of even the bravest souls. UCAS applications represent leaving everything familiar and going to a strange place with unknown threats. It’s the fear of being rejected, the fear of being lost and lonely with no friends in a hostile environment and not fitting in. Perhaps most of all, it’s the fear of failure.

What happens if I start uni and I hate my course? What if I don’t make any friends? Does everyone else know what they want to do? Can I change my mind once I’ve filled out my UCAS form or does that mean I have to go? These are just some of the questions I’ve been asked this week by anxious students who are thinking of applying to uni. Much like the fear of the sleeping giant, these are all perfectly understandable concerns.

This is the bit where I have to confess to being a mean mother. You see, I knew that once we got home my little boy would regret not playing in the play area. And I knew that next time we went to Speke Hall, the “toes” would be even scarier. So, I asked him if he’d walk past the giant feet if I carried him and let him snuggle into my neck. He reluctantly agreed. So, I walked up to the feet as best as one can with a two-year old trying to become one with your neck and knocked on the feet before placing my hand on them. He looked at me like I’d completely lost my mind before bursting out laughing. I then told him I was going to make the speaker play the snoring sound and showed him how. Within minutes, he was touching the dreaded feet himself and laughing.

And the parallels continue with higher education. During my years working in universities, I have watched many terrified freshers arrive in the autumn, clutching their new backpacks with sweaty palms as they enter the unknown. Yet over the next few years, they inevitably transform into the confident graduates who throw their mortarboards into the air with wild abandon and faces so filled with pride that it gives me a lump in my throat every time. And along the way, they meet the friends that not only see them through the freshers’ flu, dreaded dissertation deadlines and those Monday morning lectures but the also some of the most incredible memories or newly-discovered independence and opportunity.

Sometimes, it’s only by taking the risk and scaring ourselves a little that we truly realise what we’re really capable of. And quite often, the things that scare us most turn out to just be harmless blocks of wood. I can’t think of a single amazing experience I’ve had that didn’t involve feeling slightly terrified at some point and I genuinely think that embracing a little fear is a vital life skill, although admittedly one that needs a lot of support and guidance to develop.

Let’s just agree never to mention the time my toddler wanted to touch a tarantula.

If you need more information and support to help you through the scarier parts of the UCAS process, Alta Higher can help. Get in touch to find out how LS@altahigher.co.uk